


Sick Rose

by Purpledrapes



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Other Character Tags to be Added - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 06:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17719814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpledrapes/pseuds/Purpledrapes
Summary: Damen is injured. Laurent is coping.An exploration of Laurent’s relationships with the people he loves as Damen recovers.





	Sick Rose

Jord knew that Laurent cared. Cared about his family, about Damen, about the Staying Green strategies on campus and even, as hard as it was to believe, about him. 

He knew Laurent found it hard to show that he cared; found it almost physically painful. Jord was always content with the small looks of gratitude and the calls to check if he’d arrived home safely and the firm grips on his shoulder to assure himself, that yes, Laurent cared. 

But when it comes to Laurent verbally slashing Aimeric, when it comes to Laurent stabbing him with the words he knows, he _knows_ would hurt, it becomes harder to remind himself of this. 

He knows there is more to Laurent than his controlled apathy. His seen Laurent through August’s disappearance and his Uncle and he never, not once saw him cry but carried his pain as severely as if it was his own regardless. So, he knows why Laurent interacts with others the way he does. But sometimes, Jord is tired of being treated as others. Being called only when he is needed and his feelings being disregarded into a bottom pile of Laurent’s small list of cares.

So Jord stops picking up Laurent’s calls and avoids his eyes whenever they interact. Laurent, who is constantly on the edge, ready to be rejected by those around him and throw away people as soon as he feels a hint of rejection, responds to these subtle cues instantly. Shutting his doors so tightly it was a wonder he ever had them open for Jord.  He shouldn’t have been surprised at how easy it was for Laurent to close himself off and disappear from his life. 

He should feel guilty, he always promised August that he would be there for Laurent, no matter how he tried to push him away. But Laurent has Damen, who loves him irrevocably, who, in the small space they have created together, allows Laurent to be free with his feeling and with his love. So, any lingering sense of guilt fades away, only to be filled in with the simple fact that he cares for Laurent beyond the obligations he had for August and misses him.

Knowing that Laurent is happy, that he has people he cares for and can share his feelings with in a way he could never with anyone else, Jord thinks he can survive this.

He gets the call from Nik at 1:15AM. 

“uh...shit...oh shit Jord. Jord? Jord. Oh…fuck.Fuck.It’s Damen. Jord, it's Damen.”

 

_________________________________

 

From across the hospital hallway Jord could see him. He sits there, completely still, back stretched taut and eyes fixed to the wall. The plastic cup, grasped loosely, close to tumbling over in his grip, was the only clue that he was far from present.

“I wouldn’t go over there if I were you.” Nikandros, who had met him at the entrance, holds on to his arm.“He’s trying to…manage. In his own way, you know? His not as composed as he looks mate.”

“ I know. He needs someone with him now, Nik. He needs me.”

“Come on Jord, please. Give the guy some space, it’s Damen in there.”

 Nikandros voice broke off at the end and Jord instantly turned to embrace him. Nikandros, like Laurent in more ways than he was willing to admit, did not linger in the comfort Jord offered, pulled himself off softly before rubbing his face roughly.

“Go on then, see what you can do. His freaking me out with that statue impersonation of his.” He gave Jord a small pat on the shoulder before turning back to the far end of the hall where Makedon and the others had huddled together, desperate for any word on Damen.

Laurent didn’t react as he gently sat beside him, not even when Jord took the plastic cup of water from him before it spilled.

“Are you okay?”

Laurent turned to stare at him, his face shrivelled into an ugly mask of anger.

“Do you think I’m okay?” Every word hissed with disdain for Jord.

He knew it was a stupid question. But Laurent needed stupid questions now, anything to distract him from the whirlwind of darkness he had fallen into. Any opportunity to embrace the anger to pull him out of his catacomb of despair.

“You don’t seem okay. What are you thinking?”

“Of nothing. I can’t think. I can’t think of anything right now.” He started to shake his foot.

“He’s going to be okay Laurent, he’s a fighter.”

“Shut up.” He whispered, “Shut up, you don’t know that. You don’t.” His chest started heaving.

“I know it Laurent, I do.”  Knowing it was a bad idea to touch Laurent, he hovered his hands on the other’s back, hoping it would encourage him to bend his head between his knees.

“You don’t know anything!” He snapped, turning to glare at Jord, balling up his breakdown into a source of energy for his anger. The only emotion he would ever allow himself to show in his moments of vulnerability.

 “He could be dead this minute.”  He said, voice low, with a manic look to his eyes. Jord refused to look down.

They stared until the silence was broken by a ringing. Jord jumped and Laurent swiftly took out his phone from his pocket.

“It’s Damen’s mum.” He muttered as he stood, turning to walk down the hall as he picked up the call, voice a soft, comforting murmur.

Jord sagged back in his seat where he had been unconsciously mimicking Laurent’s painful rigged posture and tried not to cry.

“Damen, you stinking bastard.”

_________________________________

 

August called after twenty minutes, the sound of the airport drowning out his voice.

 “Where’s Laurent? His not picking up.”

“He must still be on the phone with Damen’s mum.”

“No, he’s just letting it ring. He’s not…oh god, Jord, this is a motherfucking shit pile of a situation. How did Laurent look when you saw him?”

“As expected, his not coping at all. We can’t blame him.”

“Text me on any updates Jord. I’ll check my phone as soon as I land.”

“Of course.”

“And Jord…I know Laurent will try and cope with this alone, but please don’t let him. Especially if…if things don’t work out.”

“I know August.”

He hanged up soon after. Laurent had been on his own long enough.

_________________________________

 

Seeing Laurent sat in the dark corner of a hospital room transported him back a decade. To finding a fourteen-year-old Laurent sat in almost the exact position. Back bent, curled into himself and swaying back and forth.

He never did find out what had cause such a physical reaction from Laurent, what had made him curl up and hide from the world, seeking comfort in his slow consistent movement. But, as he sat with Laurent that night, it didn’t seem to matter at the end. When Laurent finally sat up, they had stayed up most of the night watching reruns of America’s Funniest Home Videos and Laurent had slowly uncurled, stretched out his legs and stared at the screen, his face less strayed and more present. Like he wasn’t afraid to be present anymore.

Knowing the cause of Laurent’s current state this time around didn’t make things any easier. It simply meant that Jord had to be there for him as his own mind was occupied with the what ifs. What if Damen didn’t make it? What if he didn’t make it? _What if he didn’t make it?_

He’d lose a friend. Laurent would lose the part of his soul that he has slowly building back together.

Jord sat down beside him, making sure it was not too close, making enough noise for Laurent to hear him.

“Why are you here?” Jord nearly jumped and the abruptness, Laurent had turned his head in his arms, eyes bloodshot but no evidence of tears on his cheeks.

“You know why I’m here.”

“Don’t bullshit me. I’ll repeat myself. Why are you here?” He stretched out his words, mockingly condescending.

“Don’t start Laurent. Please, just don’t.”

“Answer it. It’s a simple question.”

“I’m here for Damen and I’m here for you.”

“I said, don’t bullshit me.” He spat, “I didn’t ask for you. I don’t need you chasing after me just because your lacking purpose.”

“Stop. Stop it Laurent.”

“I didn’t ask for you.” He repeated, voice fainter. “Leave.”

“I know you’re hurting Laurent. I know this.” He whispered in a rush, desperate to get through to him, “God knows I’m hurting so I can barely imagine how you feel. But don’t. Laurent, you don’t get to do this to me.”

“Did you come here to talk drivel?”

“You can’t distract yourself by trying to hurt me! Laurent I can't deal with this crap!”

“Then go.” He repeated more firmly, standing up quickly enough for him to stumble. Jord quickly stood to grip his arm before Laurent ripped it off.

Not deterred in the slightest, Jord continued.

“In the past…if you needed an argument or a punching bag to make yourself feel better rather than, I don’t know, show actual human emotions, I would always let you have that. But I can’t do that anymore. I care too much about you to let you do this to yourself. To do this to me.”

Laurent gave a sick, a truly sickening chuckle, “You don’t care about me. I’ve heard enough to know you are done. Your silence has certainly made itself clear these past few weeks.”

“Laurent.” He took a chance and gripped the others shoulder firmly, gratefully to only receive a hard stare in reply, “Laurent, I love you. You are my brother, my best friend but I am so tired of you barricading yourself behind these walls and believe it or not, a guy can get pretty fucking insecure when you hide how you feel this way. I need to be selfish this time.”

Jord’s confession seemed to almost soften something in Laurent’s expression and he looked away. He always was uncomfortable with shows of affection.

“You’re allowed to be selfish. I don’t resent you for needed a break from me.”

It was rare for Jord to be reminded of how truly insecure Laurent was about his relationships. How rarely he was ever shown the love needed scrub the edges of his crystallised form growing up. He questions the love others hand to him constantly and fights against it just as viciously.

“I don’t want a break from you Laurent. I want you to meet me halfway. I want to be there for you but you need to crack open that fucking door of yours for me to do it. Hasn’t it been long enough?”

“You have. You have been.” Laurent rubbed his eyes with his hands, “I don’t want to lose you, Jord.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’ve always let me feed off my barbaric coping methods.” His eyes softened a little at Jord's snort of amusement. He looked so tired. “Yes, I can admit, my methods are barbaric. D-Damen…Damen never let me act like this, he’d always managed to snap me out of it. The dumbass is as stubborn as me and always saw through my horrible act.”

Unbelievably, unimaginably, Laurent started to cry.

Jord immediately drew the other into his arms and Laurent desperately clung on, silently shaking from his shoulder. Jord wondered why he ever taught this would be easier to handle than Laurent’s silence and those sharp words that sliced the silence.

It hurt to feel Laurent’s pain racking through his body, but Jord knew it was what he needed. To sweep the pain off himself in waves of tears, to allow it to burst out of him instead of feeding in on itself and piling together in painful black thorns.

“I’m going to try and be a better friend to you Jord. I promise you that.” Laurent said after a long while, his shaking slowly subdued.

“Does that mean you’ll help fix up my backyard?”

“…Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Jord.”

“Thank you, Laurent. It means a lot to me, that you try.”

Laurent gave him a small smile, face red and tears touching his cheeks. He didn’t try and wipe them off.

“I love him. I love him so much. I need…I _need_ him to be okay. He has to be okay, Jord.”

“I know you do.”

_________________________________

 

Damen was out of surgery by the time August landed at Heathrow Airport. He was unconscious but stable. Once the others had had a chance to see Damen and assure themselves that he was as well as he could be, they headed home for the night, giving Laurent the space and time they knew he needed.

“Stay.” Laurent said, looking directly at Jord. “At least until August arrives.”

“Of course, do you want me to get you some coffee?”

“No…I don’t think I can keep it together if I’m alone with Damen.”

It was such a rare submission of Laurent’s pain that Jord could do nothing else but perch at the end of the bed, careful not to jostle Damen. It was difficult to look at him, he seemed unusually small and feeble, his face almost unrecognisable with the bruises that covered him.

Laurent took a sit on the chair close to his bedside and began to stroke his mattered hair. Closing his eyes and leaning his forehead to the side of Damen’s head, he took deep steady breaths, using his other hand to grip Damen’s lifeless one.

Jord looked away.

He was thankful that August had arrived by the time the doctors had announced that the chances of Damen regaining normal mobility in his legs were low. The extent of which could only be assessed when or if he woke up.

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will be focusing on the conflicts present in Laurent’s relationships with his family and friends and how this dude just needs to show the love we all know he has bubbling away inside! 
> 
> “The Sick Rose”  
> O Rose thou art sick.  
> The invisible worm,  
> That flies in the night  
> In the howling storm: 
> 
> Has found out thy bed  
> Of crimson joy:  
> And his dark secret love  
> Does thy life destroy.


End file.
